A boring week and couple of laughs

I haven't had to much going on this week. We had a Great time celebrating Coleman's birthday at my Mom's house last Sunday. Coleman had received a lot of money for his birthday this year. He received twenty from Jeff and Lisanne, thirty from Papa and Nana Hans(my dad), and fifteen from his babysitter. He has spent all of it. He got five playstation2 games and a big box of k'nexs.
I noticed a few of us were talking about how our kids embarrass us. Here is an embarrassing story I received earlier this week.


HOW EMBARASSING!



A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.

"He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?"Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them,Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely . . .

"A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"

US AS CATS IN A RECORD STORE

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD LAUGH.

SARAH

JENNIFER

BRANDEE

MISSY

LISANNE

MANDY AND BRANDEE
SINGING THING IN A ROW

LOIS

JENNIFER AND PAUL

MANDY

MAYBE NEXT TIME I WILL USE DOGS

I found these on this web page

http://b3ta.hnldesign.nl/index.php?list=4&page=1

Birthday wishes

Happy Birthday to my son who is 10 today and my sister in law Lisanne. I hope you both have a wonderful Birthday.



Miranda, Sarah, Coleman, And cheetah

Lisanne and Meredith

Being a parent is hard sometimes.

This weekend has been busy for me. I didn't go anywhere just washing the walls down. My walls are so bad from kids hands, crayon over the years, and smoke stain. I'm amazed at how the magic eraser works. I can't wait to get the rest done.
Yesterday, Sarah was playing outside with friends. I checked on her often. I had let about a half hour go by and Vince out of now where said she need to come in. That she had been outside without one us for long enough. A few minutes later I went out to call her in. She was looking at the side of Vince's car. I asked her what was wrong. She told me another kid(that we have problems with) scratched dad's car with his bike on purpose. There are two scratches on one side of Vince's car the length of the car and one one the other side about the length of the car. After talking to her for a while she admitted to doing some of it. I told Sarah that we where going to call the cops and the kid might go to jail. I went to talk to the manager of our park and she called the boys mom. The boys mother informed us that he had been at his father's house all weekend. So I left the manager's house apologizing for interrupting her Sunday, sad because Sarah lied to us, and mad because of Sarah did something she knew was wrong and lied about it. After talking to her for a long time she admitted to doing it herself. We talked for a long time about lies and deceit. Vince and I decided that her punishment would be to be grounded to her room for a month. I think that she seemed to understand what she did was wrong and that lying always makes things worse. I think that this punishment is going to be hard on me also. It will be hard to have her in her room that long but in my heart I know she needs this lesson. I just hope that she learns from this mistake and never does it again.
On a lighter note. Miranda and I went shopping Yesterday for Coleman's birthday. I found some really good deals. I will take lots of pictures. Below is something I found and thought I would share. It made me laugh.

A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter on the wall over the bed. With the worst premonition, she reads it, with trembling hands:"It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But is not only that Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it. Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Judith

PS:Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worst this in life than my report card that's in the desk drawer. "

The " Two cow explanation"

Since the world situation is making us all think about how governments, religions and business effect us, this simplified explanation might help us under stand better. THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...

A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

Submitted by : Standup Dude