Needed a laugh

I needed a laugh these are a few things I found.

What We Can Learn from Cats & Dogs

CAT ANALYSIS:
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be left alone.
5. When you want to be left alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They’re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: THEY’RE TINY WOMEN IN LITTLE FUR COATS.

DOG ANALYSIS:
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
CONCLUSION: THEY ARE TINY MEN IN LITTLE FUR COATS.
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Why Men Are Just Happier People...

(What do you expect from such simple creatures?)

Your last name stays put

The garage is all yours

Wedding plans take care of themselves

Chocolate is just another snack

You can be president

You can wear a white t-shirt to a water park

You can wear NO t-shirt to a water park

Car mechanics tell you the truth

The world is your urinal

You never have to drive to another gas station because “this one’s just too icky”

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt

Same work, more pay

Wrinkles add “character”

Gray hair is considered “distinguished”

Wedding dress- 00, Tux rental: 0

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet

One mood, ALL the time

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat

You know stuff about tanks

A five-day vacation requires one suitcase

You can open all your own jars

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend

Your underwear is .95 for a three pack

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough

You almost never have “strap problems” in public

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes

Everything on your face stays its original color

The same hairstyle may last for years…even decades

You only to have shave your face and neck

You can play with toys all your life

Your belly usually hides your big hips

One wallet and one pair of shoes…one color, all seasons

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look

You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24, in 45 minutes

No wonder men are just happier!!